went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize