I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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