There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize