idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
