They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
