oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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