i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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