dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
