Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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