he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
