I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
