I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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