Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
im about as happy as oj after his trial
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
