he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
