I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
