Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
