Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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