Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
