The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize