I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
