brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
