Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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