So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
