rhymes with "ouble enetration"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I party with great urgency now.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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