dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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