Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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