Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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