i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
