Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
