Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
