Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i came on her dog
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
