You were right. It hurts to walk today.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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