just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
he fucked my hip out of place.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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