my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
