I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
