Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize