there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
