I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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