So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
