You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
