So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
