Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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