i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
