Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
