wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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