dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
