You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
