I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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