some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
