haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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