I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
