grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
