Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
