Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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