I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
