Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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