i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
