Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
